How To Help Someone With Postpartum Depression?

Introduction

Pregnancy and the postpartum period are important times in a woman’s life. Emotional health during this period is important not only for a woman’s life, but also for the developing fetus, as the baby grows, and after birth. However, maternal emotional health is often unrecognized and unaddressed.

What is postpartum depression?

Depression after childbirth is actually more prevalent than you might have heard, happening to 1 in 9 women. Symptoms of Postpartum depression can occur any time during the first year after the baby is born but it usually kicks in at the first three weeks of motherhood. While the “baby blues” can be normal during the first week or two, postpartum depression starts if the depressive feelings, hopelessness and guilt remain..

This usually happens when:

• Depression or severe mood swings

• Anger or anger

• Crying too much

• Difficulty bonding with children

• Low energy

• Babysitting feels like work

• Indecisiveness

• It’s hard to remember anything

• Withdraw from your family and friends

How do I know if my anxiety or worry is normal or excessive?

Here are some signs that will help you determine if you have anxiety or a psychological problem:

• Worried about infection even after all precautions are taken and after being sedated

• Lack of sleep due to anxiety

• Excessive concern about infection control procedures in family members

• Worried too much about work

• Isolate and feel sad and angry because you can’t meet family and friend

• Feeling confused, worried, or on edge

• Inability to suppress or control anxiety

• Difficulty resting

• Being nervous, it’s hard to sit

• Easy to get angry or upset

• Fear of something terrible happening

How can women who are pregnant or with a newborn baby prevent themselves from worrying too much?

Four coping strategies can help: sharing, planning, reducing anxious thoughts, and relaxing

Sharing

Communicate regularly with your midwife or primary care physician or nurse practitioner (ANM). If you feel concerned or worried, ask how you can be contacted. Divide your day into four parts – rest, fun, work and exercise. Try to make a chart for yourself using these four headings equally.

Do not avoid going out and whenever possible try and talk to your relatives and friends through phone or video call. Switch off social networks and limit watching TV, and kindly, tell your friends and family members not to send you messages when they notice that you are in a bad mood.

In case it is necessary to turn to the messenger with a large number of messages in the group, it is better to do this. Since the social distancing, such activities as other pregnancy sessions may not be frequently held as one may desire. Look for other ways that might make you feel different, for instance you can have a little party with only the immediate family able to turn up and just share the pictures with other people.

Preparation and planning

A good way to manage anxiety is to prepare for events. Although some things can be difficult to plan, you can have a plan if you need to visit the hospital. Keep the phone number of emergency services, two or three close friends and family members and let them know that you need their help.

Send a scanned copy of your antenatal card and share the phone number of the hospital or doctor with close friends or family if they need to be near the hospital. If there is a curfew or lockdown, they must show the police if they ask for proof.

After the baby is born, keep the pediatrician’s phone number. Talk to them about what to do about immunization.

Reduce anxious thoughts

Name the main concern. This stops him from solving many different sorts of problems. As if wondering how your husband is going to get home after going shopping when your tummy is big and round because of pregnancy is not enough.

It often helps to provide a name to the thing that causes worry, in order to prove that worry is unnecessary. Best not to go to forums such as social media posts, blogs, or chat rooms to discuss the topic as one should not be going trying to start a fire or fuel an existing one. Just think to yourself now – Based on the current context, have I done an adequate job of exploring my choices??

Positive action:

Talk to someone you don’t have to worry about.  Find something you love to do and dive into it – read, listen to music, solve puzzles, go for a walk, play with the kids around you, try a new recipe, clean out the cupboard, try some crafts, make an inspirational quote poster. Find ways to find comfort – inspirational quotes, soothing music, songs, or wisdom books. Try writing a gratitude journal and list the things you are grateful for.

Recreation and thoughts

Find ways to relax – yoga, meditation, deep breathing, and meditation. You don’t need fancy equipment and don’t try too hard for the perfect time/space.

Simple relaxation exercises:

Mindful Breathing: Close your eyes and relax in a chair or bed. Pay attention to your breathing. Watch each breath as it comes in and out. If there is a sound around you that demands your attention (a doorbell or a bird chirping), notice the sound, but return your attention to your breath. You can do this for ten breaths (or 1 minute, or 3 minutes, or 5 minutes) and slowly open your eyes.

Square breathing: Take 1-2-3-4 breaths. Hold 1-2-3-4. Breathe for 1-2-3-4. Hold 1-2-3-4. Repeat this for three to five breaths or until you feel calm.

How to help people with postpartum depression

1. Listen to their feelings

They may even experience postpartum anxiety or anger. Do not ignore these feelings. Instead, you can offer support by listening and showing that you are there to listen to him and that you are there for him. By being with him and not judging his feelings or trying to understand what he was going through, he felt safer and supported.

2. Do not compare

By comparing your situation, you can only increase guilt and shame.

3. How to help someone with postpartum depression?

When a woman experiences postpartum depression, it can feel like she’ll never feel better. Remind them that this is not true. Tell her that her feelings are just symptoms, not her. It does not last forever and can be managed with treatment. It may take time, but postpartum depression is a medical condition, so keep that in mind when you’re feeling down.

4. Make a specific plan

It’s easy to say, “Let me know how I can help,” or other obvious words, but mothers with postpartum depression feel inadequate and become dependent on others who they never spoke up. Instead, recommend a special way to help at a certain time. This may mean taking an overnight meal or watching the baby for a few hours so the mother can sleep. Make an accurate plan and execute it.

5. Calm him down

So, if you are still wondering about how to get through to someone with postpartum depression, talk and make sure to reassure them. Remind her she is doing well as a mother, if she doesn’t like it. Such relief is a big thing among postpartum depression among mothers.

6. Support their decision

If a woman is affected by postpartum depression and the doctor has resolved to use medication for the illness, standby and support her decision.

The mother can also choose to stop breastfeeding her baby or weaning him or her off completely. If you are a husband, please, bring this issue to your wife’s attention and ensure that she is able to earn her living on her own if necessary. Once again, it is wrong to compare it with what other moms, including yourself, have gone through.

7. Pay attention to small things

Among the things that will be useful when you are assisting a woman with postpartum depression one little thing that would go quite a long way is proving that there is hope of regaining a healthy state. Smile and notice when you tell him it. This will enable him to know that the situation is clearing up. These little things may seem insignificant but they are not in life.

What can family members of pregnant and postpartum women do to help them?

• Be alert for signs of excessive anxiety or psychological distress.

• Don’t minimize women’s concerns – tell them it’s normal to feel that way.

• Try to resolve some issues and encourage him to talk to his health care provider about the problem without focusing on it.

• Make sure he’s constantly moving and engaging in interesting conversations.

• Find something you can do together, such as playing games, making crafts, or telling stories.

• Ensure that they have a copy of the report and hospital card/ child card and inform them that you have them with you. Propose a course of action in the event of experiencing pain, bleeding or starting labor. If the lockout persists, determine how you will look after the child so that you can be available for work.

• This is to teach him simple methods of coping with stress and do this with him

• If you are worried, it is always good to share with someone and do not contribute to other people worries

• Freely allow the new mother to sleep and should also chip in the bills for the baby. Encourage baby to vocalize, play with the baby and limit the time the baby spends in front of screen.

Nevertheless, some birth ceremonies may be prevented because of the lock down or distancing from other people. It is also okay to look for small ways to have a little celebration at home like creating a scrap book of the first month of the baby and then having friends, parents, and relatives write notes to the mother and to the baby etc, or simply taping music or even bugs, messages etc and then sending it to the mother and baby. Such minor things will make you feel having your mother around even when the mother or the partner is not at home.

Does postpartum depression qualify as a disability?

Women who need special accommodations because of postpartum depression may qualify as disabled under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). A person with postpartum depression can be allowed certain accommodations with the employer. Postpartum Depression Awareness Month is held in May.

The Bottom line

Whether it’s a husband, friend or family member, everyone can help in some way with postpartum depression. Even the little things count. So, find out what you can do to help your loved ones through this difficult time. From babysitting for an hour while Mom is sleeping to texting her that you love her, everything changes.

It is important to remember that depression is not a one-size-fits-all illness. Different symptoms will appear in different ways depending on the person. The point is, if someone has symptoms and not others, don’t write one.